My Friends are Hoo Hoos -- and I'm Totally Not Lion

Okay, here’s a video my friend Tom made.



I had to share this because I think it is just freaking funny and that Tom might be insane. I realize it might only be funny because I know him. Tom is an example of the types of hoo hoos I seem to bond with in general. I hate to say this if you are one of my friends – or one of my almost-friends – because that makes you a hoo hoo, too. I tend to meet arrogant hoo hoos…the types who are hoo hoos but have no clue about their overall hooeyness.

Oh, and for a definition, my “almost-friends” are those people I might have been true friends with pre-kids, when I had time to have coffee, drinks or dinner with random people and nurture those for-no-reason-other-than-the-fact-that-I-think-you’re-cool relationships. Now, I tend to just hang out with other people who have kids. If you have children, you get this. Also, the people I hang out with typically have young kids. If you have or ever had young kids, you also get this.

Navigating these friendships is trickier than a one-on-one friendship, however, because the kids and the adults all have to get along, or else it just doesn’t work.

And when it comes to getting along, you better either have similar parenting ideas or a belief that other people’s parenting ideas are their own, because getting judgmental on the parenting front is just asking for trouble.

And these mommy cliques…well they can be vicious. We’re talking meow…hiss…scratch.

This weekend I’ll be blogging from the California Homeschool Network 2008 Family Expo. I know. I know. I keep talking about it, but I’m just so excited. I dig this homeschooling thing, because I like that alternative buzz it gives me. I get to be controversial without dying my hair pink or sharing TMI…or rather, TMsI (the s is for “sex”). Tra la la.

I’m planning to keep up my gratitude journal. Have you started yours? If not, you should.

Here’s my how to on the gratitude journal:

1. Get a notebook, a piece of paper, a computer or whatever else you can put your thoughts to physically.


2. Write down at least five things you are grateful for every day.


3. Read over it occasionally.

Step 3 is optional, but I find it to be an additional source of inspiration if I’m feeling negative. Okay, yes, I’ve only been doing this for a few days, but I’m a believer that this will change my attitude entirely. It already has changed my mood.

If you do this, I’d love for you to share your entries. Write me or paste them into the comments section (I have no idea how to show the comments yet, but I’m working on it).

Here are my five gratitude entries for the day:

1. I’m grateful for my newest writing/editing gig at FiercePharma, because the people there seem really nice, even though we’ve only spoken via phone and Internet.


2. I’m grateful that I’m no longer in the world of academic medicine and that I provide truly comprehensive care to the people who matter the most to me in the world – my children.


3. I’m grateful for the option to homeschool our children.


4. I’m grateful for Earth Café, who makes the best raw vegan cheesecake on the planet.


5. I’m grateful for birth control and reproductive freedom.

Okay, now is this video for real…

or are these people lion?

I’m now laughing hysterically at my own stupid joke.

Toodles!

The End of the Fast

I suck at daily blogging. That’s okay.

Let go of perfectionism…let go of perfectionism…let go of perfectionism…

I made it almost through DAY SEVEN...sort of. I did a little browsing about the Master Cleanse just before going to bed including some information on the man who first developed and promoted it, Stanley Burroughs, who is widely considered a quack. That’s all fine and good, but I also believe the true health benefits of fasting most typically come from a water fast, if at all, because really the body is still processing something on any other type of fast.

Still, the perfectionist in me wanted to finish, just because I said I would. However, when I started to prepare my Master Cleanse concoction in the morning, I realized I had downed an entire liter of maple syrup in less than a week. Now I don’t eat much processed food, so pancakes are rare, but if I do eat a bite of someone else’s pancake, I usually go for the part without the syrup. The fact that I had consumed that much sugar suddenly grossed me out. So, I switched to a juice fast right then and combined my lemons with some oranges and spinach and had a huge, tasty smoothie.

When it came time to make the kids' lunch, I decided I’d just eat. So I did. I didn’t phase back in. I didn’t do anything special. I was totally fine. This might be because the food we make at home is vegan and we generally don't eat a lot of processed foods.

I will say this about the Master Cleanse if you are into crash diets (I’m not)…you drop a ton of weight very quickly. Even my skinny jeans were roomy.

Since I didn’t blog for a few days, I didn’t do my gratitude journal entries, so I’m going to make a longer list of 15. Here goes:

1. I’m grateful that my children are so forgiving when I’ve had a bad mommy moment.
2. I’m grateful that the brain surgeon gets the whole weekend off next weekend so he can come to CHN's 2008 Family Expo with us.
3. I’m grateful that my step mom is walking in the Avon 3-day, that nobody I love has cancer and that my mom is in remission.
4. I’m grateful that I have such a huge, loving family.
5. I’m grateful that I have caring, brilliant, strong-minded-yet-gentle-spirited women that I can call friends.
6. I’m grateful that I have work that is intellectually stimulating, constantly evolving, interesting and flexible and – most importantly – that I can mostly work from home and be with my babies.
7. I’m grateful that my great big minivan holds our whole family, tons of crap and yet still gets pretty great gas mileage.
8. I’m grateful that I, the brain surgeon and our children are healthy.
9. I’m grateful for our doggie.
10. I’m grateful that I live in a walking neighborhood.
11. I’m grateful that the psychobitch I become when I’m PMSing is not my true self, and that she’s only around for about three days a month.
12. I’m grateful that I no longer have to walk the dog (through the gate, down the stairs) with my newborn in a sling and my toddler on one hip while holding my 4-year-old’s hand, a dog leash and some poop bags.
13. I’m grateful that my friend told me about Jon and Kate Plus 8, which ends any pity party I might be trying to host for myself during an intense parenting day. (Trust me...if you think you've got a tough parenting gig, check those two out!)
14. I’m glad that I can’t remember the last time my children were sick.
15. I’m glad that my husband is the most involved father I know.

That was easy.

I swear, I’ve only been doing this for a few days and my outlook is brighter. It pays to have gratitude.

On another note, I love this blog post on an unschooled kid (as in no school or lessons EVER), who decided to go to public high school for his freshman year.

I know I already said it, but I’m so excited to go to the CHN Conference, and I’m super excited to go to the “Unradical Unschooling” and the “Will the Real Unschooler Please Stand Up” sessions. Really, there are so many sessions I'm excited about that I cannot even attend them all. Plus, we're meeting up with our favorite homeschooling family and bringing the grandparents.

Finally, after my fast ended, the brain surgeon wanted to have a little party, since he finally was able to come home after about 4 nonstop days in two hospitals, so he brought us each a delightful cupcake from the world famous Sprinkles Cupcakes. Mine was cherry. For the record, Sprinkles cupcakes come in a wonderful variety of flavors that are not vegan, are not raw and certainly are not part of the Master Cleanse, but they are fabulous. And that's coming from someone who doesn't particularly like cake or cupcakes. Now that’s cheating. Mmmmmm…Then the brain surgeon’s pager went off again and he left. Boo hoo.

Toodles!

I’m Freezing

This marks the end of DAY SIX of the Master Cleanse (I love putting different links for this) and I’m just really, really cold. Really, I’m feeling abnormally cold. It’s like I blew my thyroid gland or something. Apparently this is normal and my friend who is now phasing out (I’m so jealous of her orange juice drinking) was also feeling really cold. My other friend quit today…made it 2.5 days. I’m even more jealous of her, but I’m persisting. Four more days.

Although, I am going to the California Homeschool Expo next weekend, which means food on Friday night. So, I need to figure out if 2.5 days is enough time to phase back in.

The brain surgeon was called in for the third time this week, so he's spending the night on his feet in the operating room AGAIN. Poor dear.

So, I’m trying to get some organization to this blog thing, but I don’t know how that will look yet. Maybe I’ll put in a tips section now that I’ve written like 50 “How To” articles on everything from how to make a smoothie to how to groom llamas (yes, llamas). We’ll see.

I wanted to start a gratitude journal, so I thought I’d just do it on here. My goal is to list five things a day that I’m grateful for, so here goes. These are NOT in order of importance.

1. I’m grateful that my three beautiful babies are healthy, happy, intelligent and funny…and that they smell like warm laundry most of the time (except for when they smell like poop or vomit, which is a fair amount of the time).
2. I’m grateful for my fabulous husband…that he is kind, whip-smart, funny, athletic, father of the millennium and more and I'm grateful that I miss him, because that means I still think he's hot.
3. I’m grateful for my mother, who is always 100% there for me and always supportive, loving and kind (also, I worry less because she does enough worrying for 10 of me).
4. I’m grateful for my family, in all directions (up, down and sideways).
5. I'm grateful for free parking. I pulled up to the 3-hour meter today at the soccer field and there was already 2 hours and 20 minutes paid. Yippee! (The best part is the meters don’t start until 9 and it was only 9:15).

There are so many things, it is hard to stop at five. I think I'm going to try to make them more specific (rather than like, kids, husband, health, family, job, weather or whatever). We'll see.

Oh, and speaking of stinky kids…My two favorite little kid stories at the moment are: “I Love You, Stinky Face” and “My Monster Mama Loves Me So.”

Okay, I’d have hot chocolate (vegan, of course), but I can’t, so I’m going to go crawl under 10 blankets now.

Toodles.

Life and then Death (Guinea Pig Gas Chamber Addendum)

First, I made it through DAY FIVE (that's halfway, folks!) of the Master Cleanse. I really cannot believe I haven't eaten any food in that long. It's actually quite insane. I made the mistake of telling one of my clients (who happens to be a GI doc) about what I'm doing and he definitely implied that I'm insane. I told him I wasn't doing it because I thought it was healthy in the nutritional sense (although I do believe some fasting can be healthy) and that I was doing it to see if I could do it. Okay, so I sound even more insane.

I was definitely thinking about food again today. DEF IN IT ELY. That looks funny with spaces.

And although I didn't do this to lose weight, I definitely feel skinnier. DEF I NITE LY. I moved the spaces just because I'm weird.

Onto the next thing.

Today's hectic moment was when I took the kids to camp (very late today) at 2:00 p.m. I was proud of myself for remembering to bring in photos for "Share Your Family Photos Day." I was about to take the baby and run when I realized that there were an awful lot of parents hanging around. They have a open door policy for parents (which I absolutely require for anything my children attend without me), but there were a lot more parents than usual.

And then it hit me.

Ahhhh! It's swim day and I don't have anything with me! That's if you don't count the three kids, the snacks, the diapers, the changes of clothes, the water and so on. So I run the two younger kids (because my boy wasn't ready to separate yet) back to the car, back to the house, up the stairs to grab the suits and sunscreen. Back out of the house, back down the stairs, back to the car.

Oops! No towels. Back up the stairs, back into the house, la la la la la.

So, we finally get back to camp and guess what? Both kids are crashed in their carseats. This would be fine, except I've got the eldest's swimsuit and towel and I'm supposed to supervise.

I decided to call because I figured one of the counselors (they all feel sorry for me, I think) could come grab the swimsuit and towel and watch her for a bit so she could swim with her friends. But they've already gone to the pool.

The dilemma...make my eldest sit by the side of the pool while all her friends swim so the younger two can nap or carry the younger two, plus the huge bag of swimsuits and towels, in.

I went for the latter. Luckily, my little boy woke up shortly into the adventure and walked (carrying two sleeping children -- though I do it frequently -- is really, really hard), but my baby slept all the way to the pool and throughout the changing process.

Then we all had fun swimming together.

Okay, so onto the guinea pig gas chamber confession addendum. I left out a few things when I first posted about it. First, Marlowe was a well-loved, well-cared for, adorable guinea pig. He had a throne in the central part of his family's house. He wasn't neglected. The cause of paralysis was unknown.

Second, my friend could not find anyone to help her with him on the Friday night when she discovered the abscesses on his paralyzed little legs. Not her vet, not the local all-night clinic...no one. He was shaking and suffering. The decision to attempt home euthanasia was not one she took lightly.

Okay, that's it for the disclaimers.

Now, enough time has passed that I can write some of the funny stuff. Although we were crying and desperately searching for a way to put Marlowe out of his misery (her in person; me via telephone), I'm sure it was a movie-worthy moment. In fact, maybe I'll throw it into a screenplay. Thelma and Louise -- both vegetarian -- trying to kill a beloved guinea pig.

Second, that dang guinea pig just wouldn't die. I mean, come on folks! A major dose of codeine followed by over an hour in a gas chamber (although I do use that term loosely) breathing in CO2 and HE DIDN'T -- no HE WOULDN'T -- die.

Imagine my friend later, driving over an hour away in L.A. on a Friday night to find a vet that takes small animals...dragging herself and Marlowe with his cough syrup stained fur into the place. It was obvious that euthanasia at home was attempted. Terribly obvious.

She felt guilty. She looked guilty.

And apparently, she looked really, really sad, because after going over the burial options ("Um, that's okay. You can cremate him."), they pulled out the big guns.

"Would you like us to call in a grief counselor?"

This was precisely the moment of comic relief my distraught friend so desperately needed, but it came at precisely the wrong time. She should have earned an academy award for keeping a straight face.

The next morning, I told my mother the whole story (I was still somber from the experience) and the poor woman -- who really was trying to be sympathetic with our plight -- could not contain herself.

She just burst out laughing.

Toodles!

So Clean!

It’s the 4th day of my Master Cleanse and today was really easy. I wasn't really hungry at all and I didn't really have any cravings. I did my maple syrup splurge again and loved every drop. I’d love for someone to comment and tell me if this is “wrong” for some reason.

I’m over halfway through my first run of A New Earth. I listen to some parts repeatedly, hoping it will all sink in. Oh, if I could only be present all the time.

Still, I’ve been practicing and I feel like I’m getting better at staying in the now.

Okay, so this is a real conversation with my children today after my 3.25-year-old boy had his first bite of meat during his first week of camp with his sister.

Older sister: “And it was meat pepperoni, not veggie pepperoni! From a cow!”

Me: “I think it’s from a pig, but maybe it’s a cow. Maybe both. I can’t remember.”

Son: “I think it’s from a pig. They put spices up his butt and then they chopped him up and made him into flat circles and then I put him on a pizza and they put it in the microwave and I ate it!”

Me: “So, how was it?”

Son: “Kinda spicy.”

Where my little love got this unique, albeit not far off, understanding of the pepperoni manufacturing process is beyond me. I almost peed my lemon-maple-syrup-cayenne peppered self.

Here’s today’s schedule for those who wrote and said they liked reading about the crazy logistics of my life.

5-something a.m.
The brain surgeon left for work

6:00 a.m.
I get up to finish writing and submitting the morning pharma news.

6:01 a.m.
All three kids wake up (I was in bed with them), so I plop them in front of the television. My 20-month-old says, “Hi-5!” and I feel like a loser because she is already requesting specific shows. I then realize the unschoolers would think I'm a loser because she doesn't already know how to operate the remote.

6:30 a.m.
Feel guilty and make breakfast. Also feel weak, so I down a glass of Master Cleanse concoction.

7:00 a.m.
Nanny arrives early on Wednesdays. Shut “office” door and focus on the news.

8:00 a.m.
Finish news. Head in to shower. Decide there’s no time if I want to play with the little ones for a bit, so skip it (pee-ew). Get oldest ready for soccer camp. It’s Wacky Wednesday and we planned her whole backwards outfit, kooky ponytails and face painting, but now she just wants to dress in soccer gear. Now where did I put the dirty uniforms?

8:30 a.m.
Kiss babies goodbye, which makes them scream hysterically. Head back in to lift their spirits and to remind them to wave from the balcony. For my boy, this requires me saying, “Whatever you do, don’t let Hulk wave to me from the balcony. I’ll be scared all day!” Smiling, my children run with Carmen and the Incredible Hulk to the balcony and all is well.

9:05 a.m.
Late to soccer camp again! At least their still doing the “hello” song this time. Run my camper in and then try to find some parking in Godforsaken Beverly Hills so I can get some work done.

9:21 a.m.
I park across the street in the tennis club parking structure. I know the exact time because I was watching my parking ticket like a hawk. Work in my car for 1 hour and 53 minutes (with a pee break, thank you MC), because they only have free parking for an hour and I’m cheap. And this is why I bought a car with AC plugs.

11:30 a.m.
Park next to the soccer field and watch my dear daughter play. The next half hour is crucial, because I’ve got to pick her up at 12, conduct a phone interview at 12 and avoid a parking ticket in the 1-hour zone. Who says motherhood doesn’t involve strategic planning? I’m frequently in two places at once.

11:56 a.m.
A space opens up ahead of me on the curb, so I move into it, just in case that cop I saw already marked me.

11:58 a.m.
Run to get my daughter, engaging in the barest of chitchat with the coach and another mom. “Thanks, bye!” Cross the park to community center where I can conduct interview while my laptop stays plugged into an outlet and watch my daughter play on the monkey bars at the same time.

12:04 p.m.
All set up and ready to go, but the doctor I’m interviewing for a deadline today does not answer. Decide to work on some how-to articles I’ve been assigned and try him again in a few minutes. Get an email that my ghostwriting book project that has been on hold is back in action and I have to get it written NOW! Um, okay. Peek at FaceBook and update my status.

12:30 p.m.
Give up and call doctor’s colleague while sudden burst of random children begin to shout incessantly in the community center. Can I mute and leave a message at the same time? I’ve got about 25 minutes until I have to hit the car. Just before I hit the 1-hour-parking deadline, I give up and email my interview questions to both of the review authors I’m interviewing, grab my daughter, model a bad jaywalking habit, and strap her into her 5-point-harness booster seat, even though my friends make fun of me.

12:45 p.m.
Home for lunch with the kids. Nurse the baby. Change my daughter out of her soccer clothes. My son wants to play with his friend a bit longer, so we decide to go to their afternoon camp activity late. We hang out and relax a bit. Nanny goes home.

2:30 p.m.
Take the older kids to their other summer camp, where said carnivorous pizza incident occurred. My little boy looks tired and so I contemplate taking him home for a nap, but he says he wants to stay. It’s his only official activity this summer and first real camp. Still, I feel like I barely saw him yet today. This must be what it's like for school parents.

3:00 p.m.
Home and the baby naps! Woohoo! This only happens like once a week and I contemplate watching some mindless drivel, but have piles of work to do so I buckle down.

4:45 p.m.
Poor baby! I have to wake her up to go get the other two from camp. She’s not happy. I nurse her while walking to the car, which involves two flights of stairs. I live in a liberal, predominantly gay neighborhood, so no one notices the baby stuck to my boob. By the time I get to the minivan, she’s happy to hop in her seat.

5:00 p.m.
Pick up kids. On time, because its 10 bucks if I'm late (is that per kid?). Play at park for a half-hour because I’m in a meter and that’s how much change I put in (kinda on purpose due to park burnout).

5:45 p.m.
Make dinner. Feed overtired, cranky kids and clean up the kitchen and livingroom while they eat (plug for FlyLady!). Gawk at them anyway because with summer camp, I feel like I barely see them!

6:15 p.m.
Hooray! The brain surgeon is home early tonight. We tag team the baths and showers. Clean the bathrooms while the kids are in there (another FlyLady plug). The brain surgeon fends for himself for dinner, as he does on most nights. I feel moderately guilty about this, but with his unpredictable schedule and absolute hatred of leftovers, I’m not sure I should, but I do.

7:00 p.m.
Brush kids’ teeth and the five of us hop into bed for a very chaotic and cuddly story time while the brain surgeon turns totally innocuous storybook lines into come-hither innuendos. We flirt while I read the Disney Princess Look and Find and the Kit Kittredge movie book, which we enter into their library log (prizes for doing what we do already? That rocks!). Then I read 12 chapters of Captain Underpants before I decided I can no longer take my children’s overtired insanity. The older two were out in less than 10 minutes, but the baby was on crack or something. She pulled her sleeping brother’s hair at one point and dropped a sippy cup on her sister’s nose at another. Her sister burst into tears and passes back out.

8:58 p.m.
Interrupt brain surgeon’s channel surfing and have him finish putting the baby to sleep.

9:00 p.m.
Enjoy a tablespoon of maple syrup (pathetic, isn’t it?) and then get back to writing how-tos and reviewing info for the book I’m ghostwriting.

11:00 p.m.
Blog! Check my FaceBook page and chat with my long lost friend (Cheers to you!).

11:45 p.m.
Whoops. A long blog. Finish it and hit the hay.

Hey, that’s living! It's a beautiful life!

Toodles!

I Licked the Spoon and it was Divine!

I’m looking for tomorrow’s news for FiercePharma, which is always very interesting. Sometimes when I'm researching for the news, I get sidetracked by the stories. Other times, I get the urge to blog. Like now.

The brain surgeon also is having me edit some things for his M&M tomorrow. My wifely duties are never done, but I’m happy to perform.

So, what day am I on with the Master Cleanse? Day 3. That’s right.

DAY THREE: First, it is true that the urge to eat has mostly subsided. I find this peculiar and interesting. Second, the little trick I heard about was to lick the spoon after you’ve put in the rest of the maple syrup for a little sweet treat. I’m not much into maple syrup so on day 1, I didn’t bother. On day 2, however, this woman became desperate for a little variety. I licked the spoon and dare I say, it was divine.

As a result, I went truly wild today. Since I don’t particularly like the sweetness of the Master Cleanse concoction, I had watered it down the first two days and even went down to 11 tablespoons of maple syrup rather than 14.

Today, I had a brilliant thought: What if I just had the whole, entire, divine, delicious spoonful of maple syrup at once. If I subtracted some from the concoction anyway, what difference would it make? So, I did it and OMG it was a little spoon of heaven. Truly!

Oops, I did it again. I was fixing the kids lunch between soccer camp and park camp and I thought, “Well, I did skip 3 tablespoons of maple syrup, so having another one won’t hurt!” Yum…another spoonful of joy.

Now is the time when those late-night munchies start to hit. I figure, I’ve got a lovin’ spoonful left.

Unless someone gives me a reason to skip it between when I finish typing and when I reach the refrigerator, DAY THREE of the Master Cleanse will be the day of the maple syrup shots.

Toodles!

Hopeless Signer-Upper

Everyone calls me a signer-upper. I’ve always been one. I was the kid who’d read through the community center and church bulletins to look for all the classes offered for children each session. It’s even how I learned to break-dance (totally true).

That probably makes me a “good” homeschooler, since I’m pretty adept at scouring every possible publication for every possible kid-friendly activity and class in town. I present these to the kids as options and we end up horribly overscheduled most of the time.

That is just part of my personality, I suppose. The brain surgeon suffers from the same malady.

I’m sort of a vicarious signer-upper at the moment, because as most mothers will tell you, there is little time for pursuing one’s non-familial interests when the kiddies are under 5. So I’ve just became a signer-upper in another way.

Oh, Master Cleanse.

I really haven’t even figured out why I’ve decided to do this. One of my best friends mentioned she was doing it. I said, “have fun” and tried to forget about it. Of course, the “me too!” in me just couldn’t resist thinking about it. I don’t even really “believe” in the Master Cleanse. I do think fasting is great, though I’ve never done it for more than a day. I have been meaning to read Joel Fuhrman’s book on it (Fuhrman is not a fan of the Master Cleanse, by the way).

Anyway, to do this, you mix 14 tablespoons of fresh squeezed lemon juice (I squeeze it every morning), 14 tablespoons of maple syrup and ¼ teaspoon of cayenne pepper into 2 liters of water and drink that all day.

Some people also drink a cup of Senna tea in the morning and at night or drink (chug, gag down, whatever) a saltwater solution (2 teaspoons of saltwater in 32 ounces of warm water) in place of one cup of the tea.

Sounds a little bulimic to me.

DAY ZERO: I didn’t do the ease in thing, since I eat a mostly vegan diet, but I did the saltwater thing the night before I started the drink thing. The brain surgeon – with all of his surgical concerns about sodium balance – probably would have freaked out on me if he knew I ingested a bunch of salt for no real reason. Plus, I usually try to eat a low sodium diet (we don’t cook with it and we buy low sodium tomato sauce, etc.), so it’s really out of character. And salty!

I’ll skip the details (I’m not a girl who discusses such things), but you can check out what it says about the saltwater thing here. Trust me, it works. I’m not doing that again.

DAY ONE: I made the maple syrup concoction, which I found surprisingly tasty. It was true that I was never hungry throughout the day, but WHOA, I have NEVER EVER thought about food so much. I would have eaten the elevator I rode in if someone put chocolate sauce on it. Seriously. It seemed like everyone talked about nothing but food, everything smelled of food and food was just created to torture me.

At night, I had to do the grocery shopping for the family and that was even more difficult. Trader Joe’s is always cooking sample things. Sometimes they are meaty smelling and don’t appeal to me, but last night it was Eggplant Parmesan. Oh, the temptation. I’m usually good at avoiding cheese, but woman, did that smell good.

Then I went to Whole Foods to get the Senna Tea, since I found out one brand, aptly named Smooth Move, came in chocolate and decided it was important after all.

When I got home, the kids were still up (the brain surgeon rarely has success with bedtime, though you’ll never hear him admit it), so in the process of putting them to bed, I crashed and slept quite well.

DAY TWO: Today was much easier. I had my Senna tea this morning while driving my children to the soccer field for the first day of my eldest daughter’s soccer camp. She had her new pink and black cleats with her shin guards and her David Beckham (um, is that a shoe in there?)soccer uniform from the L.A. Galaxy charity game we went to a while back and I have to say…she was definitely the cutest kid on the field.

On the way to the next activity, it hit me: I’m breastfeeding. Should I be drinking the tea? (I had already checked on the cleanse itself, which is fine, especially since my daughter is 20 months old). An online search of several sites tonight confirmed my greatest fears…If I keep drinking the tea, my daughter might just be on the fast track to diarrhea-ville. No more chocolate tea for me.

It wasn’t really that satisfying anyway.

Plus, I’m not really obsessing about food anymore. It's weird.

More about day three (and what IS satisfying) tomorrow.

Toodles!

In Memory of Marlowe

I promised my friend that I would update my post about the Guinea Pig Gas Chamber, and I promise to do that soon, but I've been to three amusement parks (Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm and Knott's Soak City) with four children in one week and I might just collapse from exhaustion if I don't get some sleep NOW.

So, until then, here is a photo of the VERY LOVED and WELL CARED for Marlowe, with one of his proud owners.

Awww.....wasn't he cute? And isn't his little owner even cuter? She's my murderous (only kidding) friend's daughter.

Poor little critter. Paralysis is a tough gig when you're a L.A. guinea pig.

Short, poignant posts?

Okay, maybe I'll just try for short. Poignant is a tough call.

So, the day before yesterday we were at the Grove with my brother and niece, who are visiting from Tahiti and there was a huge line outside the Mac store. We quickly figured out that the line was for the new iPhone 3G.

Okay, maybe I'm jaded. Maybe I'm no fun. Still, all I could think was, WHY? Why wait 5 hours for a stupid phone? You could get it the next day with probably no wait at all.

Never mind the fact that the new, cheaper phone actually costs more if you do the math with the contract.

So, the reason these people were waiting must have been to be "first," just like my 3- and 5-year-old children always want to be. "Me first!!!"

I wonder what this desire of grown-ups to be "first" signifies. I mean, obviously only one person was actually "first" to get the iPhone 3G and the rest were all not "first."

Here's one blogger's take of his experience at the store.

In the context of reading and listening to A New Earth, the waiting to be first had a deeper meaning to me. What is the ego's role in the urge to wait in line and be first?

An Abundant Life: Hectic and Exhausting, but Joyful!

Okay, first, this is funny. On June 25th I called my sister SO EXCITED because I was sure I had just seen Britney Spears on Melrose. Paparazzi surrounded her. She was posing and smiling for the camera. I was a few car lengths back so I could only see her from behind at first, but when I got up close, she walked around the front of her white Mercedes (just like Britney has) and opened the door right in front of my bumper. I wasn’t looking at her at that point though…I was more interested in avoiding running over the stupid paparazzi who walked right in front of my car.

Anyway, I’m all excited, telling my sister about how Britney looks so tiny and how her hair is dark and my sister is like, um, have you seen TMZ lately? I was like, TM what? Like I have time for that stuff. So she tells me Britney isn’t particularly tiny this week and she also isn’t brunette.

So, we Google “June 25 Melrose shopping” and variations thereof and find out its some reality star (Audrina Partridge) that neither of us had even heard of from The Hills. I have heard of The Hills, of course, just not this particular reality startlette (yes, I think I invented that word). Anyway, the point of this whole story is the following picture, in which you can see the front end of my minivan about two car lengths back, rear left. See it? If not, just squint a little.

My car is now an extra in a bad paparazzi photo. Isn’t fame fabulous?

Really exciting, I know. Audrina was apparently picking up her laundry. Even more exciting is this: If you don’t know who she is and you Google her to find out, like we did, you will certainly find nude pictures of Audrina Partridge (no link from me, boys! Do your own dirty work), as she isn’t a particularly modest one, it seems.

Back to me, since it’s all about me.

Really, my schedule is crazy. This is my own fault and I know it, but it is what it is. I’m still listening to A New Earth, which takes a long time when you do it in 5-minute increments. Next, I will tackle The Power of Now again (wouldn’t that be funny if Eckhart’s next book is, “The Power of Now and Again.” Like, “now and again, I feel like smacking someone.”

But seriously, I’m really enjoying A New Earth. Between FlyLady, Eckhart Tolle and Anthony Robbins, I should be ship-shape in no time!

My brother and niece are flying in from Tahiti in the morning. We are all very excited. In fact, they are on the plane right now.

So, here’s the schedule for just tomorrow:

My oldest will go to summer camp in the morning, but my sister in law will drive her since she works right next to the camp. Whew. I’ll get my 1-year-old and 3-year-old ready and then the babysitter will come. I don’t actually need her tomorrow since my brother will be her, but she relies on the paycheck and so that’s a bit of a conundrum. Anyway, I need to be in international baggage claim at 9:15 and so me and whoever wants to go with me (kids and babysitter or one kid or whatever) will go and pick up the famdamily. Then we will RUSH back to hop in the pool at 10:15 for baby swim class, which lasts 45 minutes. Then we will FLY out of the pool, into the car, and be in the camp carpool line by 11:30 a.m. to get my oldest. Then we are golden and can let my poor, jetlagged brother and niece relax.

I’ll check email here and there, but really won’t work much until tomorrow night.

Yesterday and today were equally crazy. I won’t even bother with most of yesterday, but of course, last night I was up working on a manuscript for Health Affairs (I say that as if they’ve accepted it, but they haven’t, although here is one just published…with a little help from a ghostwriter – me!). Then I had to take a break and work on the Wednesday morning news for FiercePharma (Hi guys!).

Then I got back to the Health Affairs manuscript. I decided I would finish referencing it and spruce up the graphs before I went to bed or I’d die trying. I think I died trying. I was so tired, I just crashed. Plus, I had to get up and finish the news this morning, bright and early. Then I had to get my little ones ready, shower myself (or P.U.), semi-dry my hair and then hit the L.A. 9:00 a.m. traffic hell to get to a meeting at Carat in Santa Monica. Oh, and I had to take the dog down the stairs to pee.

By the way, plug for a great new company and product I’ve been working with: Simplicity. This company is small, but the people are really great, really ethical and really excited about – okay, I’m just gonna say it – laundry and dish soap. But really, they have the only products that are non-toxic out there. Other products have no “known” toxins, but that’s just because our government always sides with business and businesses just have to pretend they don’t “know” and then they put a bunch of toxic crap into your cleaning supplies.

And if you want to know what they put in, good luck! They won’t tell you. Nope. It’s all a big mystery. That’s what I like about Simplicity. They’re telling people what is in their products. They’re all about transparency and honesty. I trust them.

The only WEE drawback is they have an exclusive with Wal-Mart now. There are some funny and interesting things I could go into here, but we’ll have to see which way the wind takes us first.

Oh Lord, where was I? Oh, so I was late to get my oldest at summer camp, but luckily, it is on the same campus where the brain surgeon and his sister work, so my sister-in-law picked up my oldest during her lunch hour. Then I picked her up at 1:30 and then headed home, grabbed the younger two and let the dog pee again, and then ran all three to the park where the older two have a different camp program. Luckily, the dual camp insanity is only three weeks long. In between all this, I’m doing hand edits on three papers I’ve got going and handling calls on my speaker phone (new hands free law!) on mute and hope and pray I can make salient comments on my conference calls without everyone hearing, “Mooooooooooooom! He hit me!!!”

I bring the baby home and get her settled and get a few more hours of work done before heading back to the park. Dog pees first, of course. And then, you know the drill…three little dinners, three little baths, about a million stories and then bedtime.

Anyway, I’m not even caught up on work yet, but I just needed to empty my brain before doing any more and this is the result.

Toodles!