Homeschooling Fashionistas!

I’m only on my computer to write, but when I hit a block, I take 5 to 10 minutes to either:

• Check and respond to email
• Play on YouTube
• Mess about on FaceBook
• Google my friends (current and long lost) to see what they’re up to

So, I’m messing around on FaceBook yesterday, searching groups. I’ve added some groups on FaceBook and I have no idea why. Is there a purpose? Whatever.

Anyway, I’m into homeschooling, so I decided to check that out and I came across the VICTIMS OF HOMESCHOOL FASHION group.

Thank God I had a toilet near me, because things like that make me wanna pee. I mean, denim jumpers. Seriously.

So do things like this:

(The best part, is Mr. T is totally for real in this 80s fashion extravaganza.)

It all brought me back to thinking about the homeschooling community and the weird factor.

The truth is, not all homeschoolers are alike. I’ve seen fashionable homeschoolers.

But not many.

And I really don’t care what people wear. My friends come in all shapes and sizes, and many simply have different priorities – though some of my friends are extremely fashion oriented and make fashion really fun for moms and women in general.

However, after that conference, this fashion thing continued to weigh on my mind. I finally realized that what has piqued my interested isn’t really the blatant disregard for personal appearance on the part of more than a few in the homeschooling community, but the fact that looking purposely blah seems to be part of the culture.

In the group settings, lipstick wearing feels almost sacrilege and high heel wearing feels just plain hookerish.

When I had this epiphany, I had to call my friend who had attended the homeschooling conference with me. When at first I mentioned this homeschooling fashion thing a while ago, she simply said, “Seek help.”

Gotta love authentic friends.

She finally got what I was itchy about…AND admitted they were actually discussing this in one of the sessions.

In truth, there is an idea among some (many?) homeschoolers that you have to be ALL about the children and if you are a hottie mom, then you must be all about yourself.

I’ve also heard derogatory remarks about clean houses. Like, if your house is actually clean, you must be one of those parents – more interested in sterility and appearances than in letting your children play and enjoy equality in the household.

But that’s not true. Some people just have plenty of energy to do it all. Other people have housekeepers. Still others simply go out a lot and don’t have a lot of time to mess the house up. And still more are into FlyLady (I love FlyLady!).

The homeschooling community is very diverse and it is pretty much impossible to generalize, although I won’t say I saw a lot of Jimmy Choo or Prada at the CHN Expo.

But it brings me back to my thoughts about whether homeschooled kids are weird. Really, I didn’t meet a lot of weird ones. There were a few, for sure, but mostly because they were freaky smart, and there certainly weren’t any more than there are in the general public.

On a VERY POSITIVE note, those who were on the weirder side of the spectrum seemed happy and confident compared to their schooled counterparts, probably due to being spared a lifetime of teasing and bullying and to having the freedom to be their authentic selves.

And I think weird is a good thing. I really do. Still, appearances matter. They do. Call me shallow, but I’m not buying a denim jumper. Ever.

Well, maybe if it looks like this hee hee.

Today’s gratitude journal:

1. I’m grateful that I don’t own, and never have owned, never will own, nor does my (insert mother, sister, best friend, etc.) own a denim jumper.
2. I’m grateful that my dog doesn’t shed or drool, and usually doesn’t stink too badly.
3. I’m grateful that the brain surgeon got a raise in his pathetic salary.
4. I’m grateful that I’m writing regularly.
5. I’m grateful for the chance to carry, birth, grow and nurture my babies.

Toodles!

Boobs are multipurpose, and it's a beautiful thing!

I read this article the other day about women giving up on breastfeeding and it made me sad.

I have major issue when women decide not to breastfeed or give up due to some little thing. I try not to. Mostly I'm annoyed with the medical community and their casual attitude about it. Then I think about formula and the millions of people raised on it (myself included, for all but my first three months) and I think, well how bad can it be? People who resort to formula always say everyone turns out alright.

Of course, I do wonder, is everyone really alright? The formula generations are coincidentally coinciding with the obesity generations. That’s just one example, but numerous studies show the benefits of breastfeeding for everything from cancer risk to obesity to intelligence.

Still, I try to shut my mouth, because – for many people – being a mother is hard work. I find myself riding a hard line constantly between being supportive of the mother and advocating for the child.

For example, do I share my (likely unwanted) opinions and be one of those women who makes uncomfortable, judgmental comments that make other mothers feel bad? No. That doesn’t get anyone anywhere. Do I shut my mouth and control my lactivist urges? No. Then I’m not authentic.

Somehow, I try to find some middle ground. I try to support the woman and her baby. I try to be a positive example of breastfeeding and always offer to help.

And often I ask myself, why do I even care what other women feed their babies? The truth is, I have no idea why I care, but I do – even though I try not to.

But, Geeze, how weird is our society? People think it is just fine for children and adults to drink cow breastmilk (though baby cows don't even drink it as adults), yet they think it is weird to feed their own babies.

Strange, isn’t it?

Here is a beautiful breastfeeding video:



That video likely makes some people uncomfortable. Part of the problem is that many people cannot get the either-or mentality out of their minds. In other words, the breasts are sexual OR for feeding children and not both. But the truth is, they are sexual...and they are for feeding babies.

For more information,
Read this about the ingredients in formula.
Also, here’s a study on MSG in formula (which is a neurotoxin). Remember, there are many other names for MSG.

For breastfeeding entertainment, check out the comics by this great comic creator - who also happens to be a very cool homeschooling mom in Southern California.

Learn about breastfeeding. Encourage mothers. Support mothers. And if you have some weird issues with boobs, get therapy or do whatever you need to do to get over them. They are just boobs, after all.

Also, I'm not buying a stupid Hooter Hider until someone invents a Hairy Butt Crack Hider.

Did you seriously click on that link? If you did, well, you know. If you didn't...I really did find a hairy butt crack for you. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy.

Oh, and I love this t-shirt. Hilarious. Making milk is just one of my superpowers. The brain surgeon will attest to that.

Boobs are multipurpose, and it's a beautiful thing!


Toodles!

Unschooling Recordkeeping, Week 1

After going to the Expo, I had the inspiration to see what our life really looks like and how that fits into unschooling. Do we do “enough?” Am I a sort of unschooler? Are the kids really learning all the time? Should I practice keeping records in light of the fragile state of homeschooling in California?

By the way, our rights have been upheld for now, as of last Friday. Hooray! Support local homeschooling organizations to keep this an option for all families. Think twice before you withhold support: I was totally against homeschooling before and have had a complete turnaround, so I highly recommend learning all about it before forming an opinion.

First, here is one of my favorite YouTube videos ever, which has nothing and yet everything to do with homeschooling and childrearing:

Anyhoo, I downloaded this unschooling record keeper from The Home School Mom. I filled it out for a week and this is what it looked like:

Books I read aloud or with DD5:
M: A few chapters of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
T: A few chapters of The Magician’s Nephew (book 1 of the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis)
Th: A few more chapters of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and a few chapters of Peter Pan.
Th through Su: Finished the Magician’s Nephew.

Audiobooks we listened to this week (all read by Jim Weiss ):
Stone Soup
Puss in Books
Rapunzel
The Brenen Town Musicians (Grimm)
Rumpelstiltskin (Grimm)
Things Could Always be Worse (Jewish folktale)
The Shoemaker and the Elves

Movies/Videos/TV watched:
M: Dragontales (PBS)
T: Maggie and the Ferocious Beast (Noggin)
W: Sesame Street (PBS)
F: Maggie and the Ferocious Beast, Franklin (Noggin)
S: Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch (Noggin)
Su: Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch (Noggin)

Classes/lessons attended:
Sa: Time-4-learning lessons (she volunteers to go do these and picks what she wants)
1.Background: It's Puzzling! Sound (Language Arts Extensions)
2. Story: Pasquale Goes to Market Read Along (Language Arts Extensions)
3. Story: Pasquale Goes to Market Read to Me (Language Arts Extensions)
4. Background: It's Puzzling! Consumers and Producers (Language Arts Extensions)
5. Phonics: Review ed (Language Arts)
6. Phonics: Review long o (Language Arts)
Su: Home cooking class (vegan agave apple pie with whole wheat crust) with discussions about nutrition, fractions and measuring.

Miscellaneous academia:
T: 1 hour French Lyric lessons in car
W: Verbal Math lesson 1
Th: Ocean ecology and marine biology at beach; 15 minutes French Lyric lessons
Sa: Human anatomy from “Looking into my Body” book and daddy’s spine model
Daily: Counting to 100 dance

Projects:
M: Painting and art at the Boone Children’s Gallery
T: Painting
W: Play-doh and Floam free sculpting. (If you haven't played with Floam, you must, even if you aren't a kid. Also, try Moon Sand. Buy it or, for even more fun, make your own.) Planted a thyme plant and forget-me-not flowers.
Sa: Creating cards and drawings for upcoming birthday invitations at Libby Lu, which my daughter loves, although it might just be the future shallow anorexia victim training unit.

Field Trips:
M: Boone Children’s Gallery and the Broad Contemporary Art Museum at LACMA
T: Kidspace Children’s Museum free family night
Th: Beach (marine biology and ocean ecology talks; sandcastles; swimming)
Sa: Grocery store (budget help; discussed different stores, picking fruits and veggies); took dogs to dog park.
Su: Courtyards Children’s Play Group. Brought felt solar system and taught the adults all about the planets. (FYI, not one adult there could name the planets in order from the sun, although most knew Pluto is a moon).

Discussions:
Helping out. DD5 would like to have "jobs" around the house, like clearing the table, vacuuming and feeding our lovely dog.
She really wants to master reading so she can read the big books (like the Narnia books) by herself.
She really likes verbal math, but doesn’t like worksheets.

Skills observed:
Many, many, but my favorite thing was when DD5 made up a story called “The Owl Who Was Not Nocturnal and His Friend the Bat.” It was deep.

Side note: As we all know, relationships and life in general become complex when we go against the norm. What a struggle for the owl and the bat! We decided we're going to co-author a children’s story and her Grandma Teri will illustrate it.

Physical Activity:
Lots of running, dancing, swimming, biking.
Th, F, Sa, Su: Pool
Th: Beach

Sa: Long bike ride

Okay, that’s what I recorded. Of course, there was much more to the week with lots of amazing, imaginative play and bonding with our friends who were in town.

Really, how could school ever beat such a rich and full week? The best part is that EVERY week is this great.

Here's my gratitude journal for the day:
1. I'm still feeling grateful that my mom is recovering from an infection and not another bout of breast cancer.
2. I'm grateful for the brain surgeon and how he always manages to give so much of himself to us, even though he gives and gives and gives at work all day long.
3. I'm grateful for my terrific friends.
4. I'm grateful for my children and the wonderful family members that surround them.
5. I'm grateful for FlyLady, because I've finally listened to her about the laundry and I'm loving it!

That line about the laundry is kinda pathetic, huh?

Toodles!

Mommy Breast Cancer Scare

I have to thank you guys for the occasional reminder email when I get behind or don’t finish what I was trying to say. I dropped off the face of the earth (though not off the FaceBook of the earth!) for a variety of reasons.

The main reason for my absence is that my mother suddenly developed unilateral cellulitis in the breast that she had cancer in almost exactly five years ago. The scary part of the whole thing is that it looked exactly like inflammatory breast cancer (IBC), which is the most aggressive form of breast cancer there is.

I tried not to freak out, but I did. I don’t want my mother going through breast cancer treatment again. She’s already had a lumpectomy, lymph node dissection, radiation, chemotherapy in addition to multiple biopsies and boob-squishing procedures. Plus, she’s on the most awful follow-up medication on the planet, which makes her walk like she’s 100 years old rather than 60.

Anyway, we are all so so so thankful it was just an infection. I had no idea, really, that cellulitis could be so well-demarcated on one breast and look just like IBC. The only clinical difference, really, was the low-grade fever she had and the fact that the antibiotics are working.

I had a wonderful grandmother (my mother's mother) who developed breast cancer when I was about my DD5’s age, and who died about 5 years later. That was my Grandma Irma and I still miss her so. I have such vivid memories of her. And that was so much of what was with me this last week…My DD5 is so very close with my mother and I couldn’t bear the thought of either of us losing her or her going through what I went through with my own grandmother at such a young age.

What a scare.

Okay, well, onto requests. How's that for an abrupt subject change?

I love hearing about favorite posts and so first I’ll tell you what people are reading most on here:
One of the most read posts is the Guinea Pig Gas Chamber Confession and a related post here. The next most read is I Have Fake Nails and My Children Swear so I had a Brain Surgeon Dinner Party.

I enjoy musing about why people like reading about my role in guinea pig euthanasia, but the fake nails post is particularly kitschy, so I get that one.

I also put up a lame pole for fun (see on right) and although people are reading this page, hardly anyone votes, a testament to its true lameness. I’ll get more creative. I promise.

Okay, so I’ve been reminded that I didn’t finish talking about the California Homeschool Network 2008 Expo, so I will do that briefly.

On Saturday, my two favorite sessions were “The Unradical Unschooler” and “Will the Real Unschooler Please Stand Up?” I think I’ve mentioned that I’m very fascinated by the unschooling concept in general, and these sessions were very cool. I read multiple Radical Unschooling boards regularly, but I’m not 100 percent aligned with the concept and its cultish feel at times. Still, I learn much. For now, I’m still categorizing myself as “relaxed eclectic,” because I’m am a bit of a dork who gets a rush out of buying curriculum type things (although I never use them as the creators intend) and of creating plans and schedules.

I ended up speaking up quite a bit in the “Will the Real Unschooler Please Stand Up?” session, and I was pretty excited that I could answer a lot of the newbie questions (even though I’m not a total unschooler myself). That was fun.

The most terrific part about Saturday was the Grandparents session and the Dad’s session, as my children had three grandparents and their dad present. They all went to the sessions. They found the crowd interesting and entertaining at their respective sessions, but really, the grandparent session seemed to be more about the naysayer types. Our kids are so lucky to have such loving and supportive grandparents who already are so on board with homeschooling.

The brain surgeon liked the dad session, especially because they kept talking about expectations and mentioned a few times how not all kids will grow up to be brain surgeons. You have to love the constant barrage of brain surgeon comments when you actually are one. We also have a scientist friend in our DD1’s playgroup who happens to work on rockets.

One rocket scientist and one brain surgeon, coming up!!!

However, they did mention in the dad meeting that we should have a "Board of Education" meeting (comprised of the two of us) once a month, so we decided that was a great excuse for a dinner date.

We went to a French restaurant, and as president of our private school, I told him what my current (constantly changing) unplan was, he said "okay" and we noshed on viddles.

So Saturday at the conference, we mostly hung out as a big happy family and had fun. I won a few door prizes and a $25 gift certificate to the vendor hall.

I was a bit annoyed because the brain surgeon was sick all weekend. He is always overworked and exhausted, so he is often worn out on weekends off (which really sucks because he only gets one every 12 days). It's not his fault so I know I'm being a major bi-atch to even be annoyed, but it is annoying. ANNOYING.

Sunday, my favorite session was Disney Schooling, although it was challenging watching my three kiddies during the session and listening from the doorway (since said brain surgeon was in bed recovering from work). That was a VERY cool session!!! I’m going to add Disney Schooling to my homeschool adventures (and maybe Hogwart Homeschooling, too!). I’ll keep ya posted.

Gratitude entry for the day:

1. I’m SO SO SO grateful that my mother has a breast infection (as hideous and horrible as it is) and not inflammatory breast cancer.
2. I’m SO SO SO grateful that my mother has a breast infection (as hideous and horrible as it is) and not inflammatory breast cancer.
3. I’m SO SO SO grateful that my mother has a breast infection (as hideous and horrible as it is) and not inflammatory breast cancer.
4. I’m SO SO SO grateful that my mother has a breast infection (as hideous and horrible as it is) and not inflammatory breast cancer.
5. I’m SO SO SO grateful that my mother has a breast infection (as hideous and horrible as it is) and not inflammatory breast cancer.

That one was worth repeating!

Okay, that’s it for now.

Toodles!

Homeschooling Conference Part I: The Weird Factor

My apologies for being off for a few days without warning, but I decided at the last minute to try a computer fast since I’m connected far too often, despite my unswerving resistance to getting a Treo, BlackBerry, iPhone or the like. However, my little laptops (one IBM, one Mac) and my Sprint card are enough to keep me overly connected.

But I did it and I survived. It was quite nice.

As you know, I went to the California Homeschool Network 2008 Family Expo with several members of my family in tow. I, the brain surgeon, our three kids and three of their grandparents attended. My friend and her two children came along, as well, and we all had adjoining hotel rooms.

Overall, it was a great time and I learned quite a bit. It was a wonderful experience.

I think I’ll split this into three posts, since the conference was three days and tonight I’ll talk about day 1 (which was Friday).

First, I’m going to talk about the weird factor, and thereby risk completely alienating myself from the entire homeschooling community:

One of the common fears about homeschooling is that homeschoolers will – by the very nature of homeschooling – raise weird kids. I’ve always thought this was one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. I mean, I went to private school until 8th grade and there were weird kids there. Then I went to public high school in a very hip and affluent school district and guess what? There were weird kids there, too. Then I went to college, grad school and med school and – you guessed it – weird people were enrolled in all of these. Med school, in particular, was geekville (it just doesn’t seem to attract a lot of ex-cheerleaders or prom queens, although there are a few).

I say that the primary determinant of weirdness is parents. Weird parents tend to produce weird kids and cool parents generally produce cool kids (however you want to define each…the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and so on). While it is not always the case, it is indeed often so.

So, I deduced, the same would also be true in the homeschooling community – there would be a balance of weird, less weird and more typically cool, just like there is anywhere else.

But I am wrong. Astonishingly wrong.

Granted, I am told that only 3 percent of all California homeschoolers (currently counted as 166,000) are members of the California Homeschool Network (join already, people!), and not all of those attended the conference. Still, it might be safe to assume that the conference would hold a representative sample of homeschoolers in general, since in attendance was everyone from the right-wing super conservative Holy Roller homeschoolers to the anything-goes types.

One person, who shall remain nameless, had this to say about the group aesthetics:

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many unattractive people gathered together in one place.”

Ouch.

I have heard many homeschoolers talk about how they don’t want their children to be bullied or how they never fit in during school, and I can’t help but think that this is why many of them are homeschooling. While I agree that school sucks, the social parts were what always kept me going. Socially, I loved school. It was the academics (boring, often irrelevant and very arbitrary), the teachers (lame with a few notable exceptions) and the bureaucracy (wasteful, useless, coercive, controlling) that I had issues with. Socially, I thought it was a blast.

I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world…

(Did you know Mattel sued over that song?).

But really, many of the conference attendees seemed to have just given up when it comes to appearances. I saw coke-bottle glasses that looked as if the wearers went into the eyeglass store and said, “I want the most unattractive glasses you have, and not the kind that are intentionally ugly to make a fashion statement,” as well as hair that just grows – no cuts, no style and certainly no color. No shampoo for the frizziest of menopausal hair.

That’s all good and fine. I’m all for letting go of our shallower selves, but I can’t wonder how much of the appearances were self-esteem issues and how much of them had tortured social lives during their childhoods that are motivating them to homeschool.

Like, I just wanna misfit in!

So that’s my take on the weird factor. To combat it, I’m going to sign my daughter up for cheerleading camp next week. (kidding)

As for the actual conference, on day 1, we tried to get there for the first session, but missed it, so my first session was “Fearless Homeschooling” led by Tammy Takahashi, who has this Website. I had all three kids and no real backup at this point, so I actually heard very little of what she said and had to bail out early. My friend stayed and took notes. Homeschooling is scary…jump in, and so on.

Then we decided we’d trade off for the rest of the day. There were so many things to choose from, it was tough. The next session I attended was by a homeschooling ER doctor who talked about ADHD diagnoses and whether a child has ADHD or is a kinesthetic learner. I worry about my little boy in this regard, because he is EXTREMELY active…like if I throw him in a group of 40 other 2- to 4-year-old boys, he will be the most active – by far. However, he’s also far ahead of the bell curve on every developmental milestone and can concentrate for long periods of time.

Well, I gained pounds of reassurance from this physician as well as several tips to help keep me sane and be of assistance to my little ball of energy.

During the next session, I babysat the five-under-5 while my friend hopped around the sessions and then we all got in the FOOD LINE FROM HELL and had the strangest veggie burgers ever followed by an ice cream sundae line, which (JOY!) included soy ice cream. That night, I took the five-under-5 to a bedtime story with Jim Weiss while my friend session-hopped again. Jim is a professional storyteller and I dropped some serious cash on his CDs before the conference ended. I highly recommend you check him out for books on CD. He categorizes them by age…preschool up to adult. He’s super entertaining.

That was it for Friday. The brain surgeon was operating very late, so slept at home, and my mother blew into town around bedtime. I read the middle third of the first book of the Chronicles of Narnia (since we left the Harry Potter book we were reading at our friends’ house) to my babes in bed and we all crashed.

Here are five things I’m grateful for today:

1. I’m grateful that my children constantly spill things on the floor, because it helps me keep the floors spic and span.
2. I’m grateful for all the people who put together the CHN 2008 Expo and volunteered their time, allowing us to have an amazing weekend.
3. I’m grateful for my husband, who had the same boyish energy my darling little boy has – and is a shining example of how that excess energy can be channeled.
4. I’m grateful for our little home, because there is less for me to clean and it’s easier to keep track of all the little ones.
5. I’m grateful for my parents (all of them), because they are so incredibly supportive and wonderful.

That’s all for now. More about day 2 (along with more astonishing and shallow revelations) tomorrow.

Toodles!