Taking his name...

Okay, so I still consider myself a feminist. There are so many definitions of the word "feminist" and the topic of "feminism" that it is hard to fit into any one box (pun intended), but I'm basically for me being able to do whatever the hell I want, despite the fact that I don't have an (attached) penis.

I didn't take the brain surgeon's last name, but that doesn't really make me a feminist.

We had a discussion at dinner about that the other night. Some of the men (more brain surgeons) in attendance said that not taking the man's name was equal to castration. WHAT? Are some people really that insecure? What does taking a man's name (and thus giving up your own) have to do with castration?

My question is, why do people care at all? I mean, take his name if you like it or want to or whatever and don't take his name if you are opposed to the tradition, prefer your own name for whatever reason, and so on. Unless you are a woman from a long matriarchal line in a matriarchal society, you probably have some man's name anyway...In fact, I'm hyphenated with my two dads' last names.

But my name was my name and I didn't really feel like getting a new one and my husband didn't care either way. We also didn't think it mattered if our family all had the same last name as we don't believe we are defined by our last name. Our family is a family either way.

In fact, my sister and I had different last names (and different fathers, but that is its own LONG post) growing up and it didn't change how we felt about each other at all...We are as close as close can be.

Back in the day (well maybe not "the" day), women were betrothed and the name was a property thing. I'm not really up to holding up that tradition, but again, I really don't see how it matters much.

I just know I would never marry a man who equated it to "castration" or one who didn't have the self-esteem to handle a woman who makes her own decisions on such things.

Thank goodness the brain surgeon I married is cool.


Toodles.